So lately I feel like everything is coming at me, but in truth, I'm just like everyone else. I'm not sure how everyone's feeling but lately I feel this huge weight on my chest. What happened yesterday failed to make me feel better. I thought I did but I think I was just lying to myself. Don't get me wrong though it's not like I'm regretting my decision. Perhaps this is karma's way of getting back at me for saying things I shouldn't have said. To be honest, I want to say a lot of things to a lot of people especially him. The weight on my chest is probably because I haven't been honest with myself or that person.

I also have no idea why I don't or can't just say what I'm feeling and why I'm so scared of complaining about my own feelings. Does it really matter to me what they'll think of me after they hear the things I want to say? And then sometimes I think to myself, of course what they're thinking about me matters because they're my friends and because they're my friends they'll listen to me anyway but I still don't say a thing.

The fuck you effect. I don't know why I said that, it felt appropriate.